I made a dinner late this afternoon, before I left for work at 4:45 p.m. I was using a Rachel Ray cookbook, and was really hoping this would be a tasty meal. Before I could finish it, I had to leave. I left the beef simmering in its sauce and told my 18 year old to turn if off after ten minutes ( I also set a timer). I told her there was cauliflower already cooked and in a pot at the back of the stove. Then, feeling like a virtuous wife and mother who has provided quality sustenance for her husband and children, I went to work (to earn the money to buy the bacon which I then will cook up in a pan, blah, blah, blah).

About 7:30 my youngest daughter called and I asked how she liked the dinner I had cooked. She said, "Huh? What dinner?" I reminded her that she had been in the kitchen while I was cooking. She denied knowledge of me cooking or her eating anything. I asked to speak to her father.
"Did you eat?" I asked brightly, hoping for compliments on a fine meal.
"Um, yeah." he mumbled. "
"How was it?" I asked eagerly. "Was it good?
"Huh?"
"The food I made! I cooked dinner, I left it simmering on the stove!"
"Oh. No I didn't get any of that."
"You didn't get to eat?" I asked, confused.
"Oh, don't worry about me," he said, obviously trying to reassure me that my hubby had not gone hungry. "I made myself a sandwich."

Another 2 hours in the kitchen wasted. I could have been taking a nap, or reading a book, or walking a dog in the bright autumn sunshine, instead of stuck inside my steaming kitchen, trying to read a recipe and chop vegetables and slice steak all at the same time. I could have saved the eleven dollars I spent on the steak and spent it on chocolate for myself. I could have taken a bubble bath and gone to work smelling sweet and flirty instead of greasy and meaty.

You know, I really wanted to be one of those very domestic women who cook fabulous meals, whose kitchen is always filled with the aroma of baking bread and hearty soup and brownies.
A woman whose family troops in, tired after a hard day, and is comforted and uplifted by the sight of Mom standing in the kitchen, ready to dispense hugs and plates of warm, wholesome, delicious food. But to fulfill that fantasy, and it is a lovely fantasy, I'm gonna need a new family.

PS - To be fair and honest - later that evening when I got home, I filled a plate with the meat and vegetables I had made from Rachel Ray's recipe, and I was not impressed. That was a lot of work to make, and it was boring. At least the dogs loved the gravy.