mother daughter mother daughter

I was talking to my therapist (if you read my other blog you'll know why I must see a therapist).


I have a difficult, stormy, hurtful relationship with my eighteen year old daughter, who lives with me. From conversations we have during calm moments, I think the relationship is more difficult and hurtful for me than it is for my daughter. The therapist, Kris, has seen both of us over the course of a year or two.

During the intake process Kris asked me to describe my relationship with my mother. I said, "my mother and I are good friends now, but I've had to learn over many years to not take things too personally. I know she loves me, but she's intrusive and critical, bossy and judgmental. She stomps all over me. She always gets her way."

Kris looked up and smiled at me. "Do you realize you just described your daughter, and your relationship with her?"

I couldn't answer.

Kris smiled again, and said, "If you've learned to not take things your mother says and does personally, do you think you could do the same in your relationship with your daughter?"